oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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