is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
