Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
