is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
