Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
