it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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