make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
