Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
