piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
