Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
