So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
