It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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