OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
