So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize