you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
