Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
