Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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