I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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