yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
