I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
