i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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