Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
