Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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