Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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