If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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