I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
