I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize