Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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