Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
