The maid of honor just puked.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
