I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
