My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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