can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
