you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
