bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
