I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
