Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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