I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
