We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
