She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
