Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
