actually, I'm a sock model
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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