i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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