apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
