I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize