Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
