i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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