There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
