your thong is hanging out like whoa
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
