THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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