the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
