We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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