Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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