then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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