Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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