goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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