i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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