i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Rumble strips road head = magical
So much rum. So many feels.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize