I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
