It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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