He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
