...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
