Screwed.edu
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
