yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
