So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
