bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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