I wanna passion pit in your ass
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
